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Goodbye 2018, Hello 2019

2018 was a wonderful year in many respects - some of my best memories were experienced in 2018, I achieved a good chunk of my goals and new years resolutions, I started dating an amazing guy in 2018 as well. But, on the flipside, the year was also one of my most challenging. 

Pretty much throughout the entire year, my anxiety and depression issues came spiralling back. I was doing so well for so long until it all hit me again. This is what they call a “relapse” in the field of psychology, and things only got worse as the months went by. It’s very disheartening for someone who spent years working on things, only to eventually get to a good place and then lose it all again. I’d feel fine and act fine, I could enjoy a good concert or enjoy spending time with my friends, truly, but deep down, the depression was there like an undercurrent. The anxiety was, too. The darker side of me came through. I couldn’t fight it any more. In late 2018, I finally decided to see a professional for all of this. But, truthfully, i don’t think she’s helping all that much, so i must really figure out if i’m ready to go back on the waitlist when my mental health is already shaky, or if I should stick with this current therapist in the meantime, while I figure out how and when I’ll find a new one.

In 2019, i need to fiercely dedicate time to my mental health. I have other goals, sure, but this is one of the most important ones for me because without mental health, all those other goals would mean nothing.